Unfortunately that's the only kind of "banging" that happens in this episode... Although subtext galore! (Is it even subtext anymore? Some moments...)
I went into this episode with spoilers Twittering away in the periphery. Not real spoilers (except I had heard about the Tommy thing via imdb), but a whole lot of "Holy effing sh-t"s, "f--k"s, etc.
Lemme just say, HOLY EFFING SH-- is right!
On my part, there was a lot of gasping, "What the frak!"s, and "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh." But all at fairly appropriate volume (unlike some people I know) because, well, I do have roommates and it was 2-4 am (yes, it takes me that long to watch an episode of R&I).
But enough of that! You saw the episode!
(Note: Click the screencaps! They get bigger!)
*Apparently there are these little teaser before the opening credits where someone dies...
All I remember is the episode opening at the BPD gym.
Hmmm, a lot of men working out trying to look good for the ladies. Will Jane also be trying to look good for her lady?
Yep, the girls are working out together.
*Please, Maura wasn't staring at his arm... She was caught up daydreaming about some really sexy fantasy about Jane.
C'mon, does that face say, "I'm staring at a sweaty man"? No. It says, "I'm thinking about Jane's biceps as she backs me up over the morgue table."
(Side note: Only Rizzles looks that hott working out. And, of course, only Butchy McFabulous actually looks like she's getting a real workout. Maura's workout comes later... WINK)
*Ahh, the smell of jealousy.
*"Females are wired to be attracted to the strongest, most dominant" people. Yeah, yeah... We know you're a femme, Maura.
*"You're making me uncomfortable."
It's okay, Jane. Sometimes Maura forgets about social decorum. So do you. You two should have already had the talk about what's cheating and if looking is okay, etc.
See, she's just admiring the muscles... She's a scientist. Maura doesn't actually want to get with that. And now she's complimenting his ass to tease you.
(Seriously, the guy doesn't flirt back at all... He obviously knows that Maura is with Jane)
*"I am never working out with you again..." unless it's in bed... or in the shower... or on the kitchen table... or... you get the idea.
And she's not even serious with that since a second later when Maura gets off (not like that!), Rizzoli wonders why she's leaving her.
*You know you're a femme when... you don't sweat from working out, you glisten.
*Oh heavens, nothing is hotter to me a good grammarian.
*Ah yes, Tommy... The 's' of "Rizzoli & Sons"
*Aww, nothing's sweeter than Rizzoli getting choked up. Go comfort her, Maura.
*Talk about your excuse to hold hands...
*C'mon Jane. You're creating like all of the communication issues in your relationship. It's a tortoise!!!
At least Maura can read you like a book...
Look at that concern in her eyes!
*Maura about Tommy: "I always wondered about him." She wanted to know all of her future in-laws, even the shady ones.
*Wow, Jane is really sensitive this episode.
And Maura is very impressed by it.
Remembering why she loved her in the first place...
*Oh my tender elevator scene! This is beyond subtext. This isn't "reading between the lines"... The lines are pretty freakin' direct.
That is seriously straight out of every chick flick out there.
Not to mention the "or avoid the subject" line. We all know how Maura would plan on keeping Jane's mind off Tommy...
Honestly, I don't need them to kiss if I keep getting gems like this every week...
*Oh no, if it shows a person putting her gun away (Rizzoli), you know bad things are brewing. (Note: Rizzoli & Isles is fairly predictable in comparison to some other cop shows... Luckily I love it for other reasons...)
*Classic Jane Rizzoli intimidation
*"Cover the back exit by the morgue"?!
The show is Rizzoli & Isles... You need both Rizzoli AND Isles... You can breathe again.
What the hell, Jane! Why did you leave your gun?!
*OH. MY. Frankie Rizzoli!
*And nothing chases away a look of horror like Maura talking to Bass and telling him that it's okay and that only the power went out.
Oh Maura, I'll keep you safe.
*Yeah, I'd also probably be begging, "Don't leave me," if Angie Harmon had just held me in her arms and then started to walk away.
*Witness Girl is dead! Yep, no point in living if living is without Rizzoli's arms around you.
*Bad Cop: "What do you think?"
Jane: "I gotta find Maura and get her outta here." Of course...
*Love the little pat on Bass's shell.
"It's Jane." She'll protect us.
*This is the wrong Rizzoli I want to see Maura undressing...
*So we don't get to meet Tommy Rizzoli. But we do get a reminder that Lorraine Bracco is a brilliant actress that can turn a scene around like that *insert snap here*.
*Jane to Maura: "We trust you." Awww...
*Jane goes to protect her mate.
*Oh, Maura. Foot on the walkie talkie. Brilliant...
*Oh. My. Gosh. Jane!!!
Slow-motion Maura screaming Jane's name and running to her.
(TNT obviously wants us to think they're a couple.)
All we needed was a tender embrace at the end with wounded Jane lying bleeding in Maura's arms.
Question: Would anyone be interested in me subtext recapping the first five episodes? I've heard from a few people that they'd like that (probably for the delicious screencaps).
If I do, I'll post one every Monday (R&I night) over the next five weeks.
If not, thanks for reading the ones I've put up!
Also, let the fanfic of Isles nursing Rizzoli back to health commence!
I'm no longer ashamed to admit that I'm addicted to Rizzles Fanfic. And I'll probably end up writing some to get me through the long fall/winter ahead...
Alright, I'm still depressed. I need some Rizzles love.
Angie & Sasha out shoe shopping:
Loving the hand placement...