Rizzles Rewind #1: Gay From the First Day

Ah, the Rizzoli & Isles pilot. I remember first seeing the promo for the show while I was watching TNT (I love The Closer Kyra Sedgwick and Leverage Beth Riesgraf). After I passed out from how gorgeous Angie Harmon is, I rewound my DVR to watch it again. This time, I said, “Oh, she’s hot too,” about Sasha (I never watched NCIS so she was new to me). “This’ll be a great show.”
Unfortunately, I was disappointed. The show wasn’t that great and the women… not that hot (ha and ha!)
Note: I ended up with over 200 screencaps for this episode… I forgot how good the pilot was! As I’ve already used 10% of my storage on here, I doubt I could put all of them up.
Second Note: Click the pics to see them enlarged!

*We first meet Detective Jane Rizzoli playing basketball with Frankie.

Frankie laments how he never beats her. He accidentally breaks her nose and she’s unfazed. Yep, she’s the butch one.
*Oh, of course Jane still looks hot all bloodied and angry.

Actually she almost looks better...
*Mama Rizzoli wants Jane to look better at crime scenes (Um, have you met your daughter? She always looks slammin'.)
What she said: Because I meet so many great guys at work. Too bad they're all dead.
What she meant: Too bad they're all men.
*And then we meet Dr. Maura Isles. In those sexy boots rolling up in her Benz.

*Crowe calls Maura "Queen of the Dead," and who is there to stand up for her? No surprises there.
*Maura sees Rizzoli's fractured nose. Of course Maura knows something is askew with her lover's face. No one knows Jane's face better than Maura.

What she said: It's not disfiguring.
What she meant: Don't worry, you're still gorgeous.
*Maura says to Jane, "Can't you do something safe, like yoga?" She just worries about you, Jane. Really, she just wants to see you in this outfit:

There ain't nothin' wrong with that...
*Maura's healing hands...


Maura then tells Jane to ice her nose. And you said you don't date patients... I think we finally caught Maura in a lie.
*Agent Dean enters. Cue the obligatory Rizzles eye sex.

Excuse me, ladies. Sorry to interrupt, but someone's talking to you... It might be nice to, you know, engage in conversation with him and maybe make some eye contact with him...
*Jane gets irritated when Maura invites Agent Dean to the autopsy. Seriously, that's the Rizzles special time together.

Maura doesn't ever smile at Dean like that but we're supposed to believe she might be interested in dating him? And she does smile at Rizzoli like that and we're supposed to think that she's not interested in dating her? I don't get straight people...
*We then cut to the prison where Frost and Rizzoli are interviewing Hoyt. Hoyt asks how Jane's hands are and we learn she used to play the piano (hence the piano in her apartment).
"Do they still work?" he asks.
Ask Maura. She knows all about how skillful Jane's hands are...
*"Do you dream about me, Jane? Because I dream about you." Please, Hoyt... You aren't special. I dream about Jane too.
"I don't even think about you." Yeah, the only person she's dreaming about is Maura.

*The body of the missing woman is found in the woods.
Jane stays back in the car to get all prettied up for Maura.

*I don't know why, but the tuna fish scene is one of my favorites. Maybe it's because of this:

I have a lot of horribly dirty responses to Agent Dean's, "Are you guys eating cat food?" I'll restrain myself...
*Rizzles finds out that Hoyt escaped from prison.

Maura's worried.
*Frost and Frankie are concerned about Jane and come to her apartment to watch after her. Of course, Jane doesn't want their protection, telling them, "I am a homicide detective" and a badass butch sporty lesbian.

Frankie says, "If you have a boyfriend over, we'll know."
Yeah, that's not gonna happen because a. No boyfriend. And b. Jane's going over to her house.
*After getting fed up with her mother's overprotectiveness, Rizzoli heads over to Maura's house... of course.
Either Jane didn't call before she showed up because she doesn't need to at this point in their relationship (she knows Maura isn't seeing anyone else). Or she did call and Maura got all prettied up for her.

What she said: Why do you always look like you're about to do a photo shoot?
What she meant: You look sexy.
*Oh, Jealous Jane... Looking to see who's "dropping something off."

Hmm, Jane does a lot of peeking around things... (like out on her double beard date)

"Are we having a sleepover, or is this your way of telling me you're attracted to me?"
The response was just a laugh, no denial.
*Maura can't tell Jane what other case Dean wanted her to look at.
Jane pouts and says, "Fine, go sleep in your own room." And then Maura pouts...
*"Did you ever like the same guy as your best friend?"
What she said: No.
What she meant: No, I don't like guys.
"I'm not seeing him."
"Yet."
What she said: Well, somebody should, don't you think?
What she meant: Well, somebody who isn't either of us should, don't you think?
*"Couldn't we just show him our tits and let him decide?"
If you need a second judge for that contest, I'm available.
*Jane is startled by Bass's movings-about in the kitchen.

Maura calms her down.

What she said: I've never been so scared in all my life.
What she meant: I've never been so scared in all my life, but I'm glad I'm with you.
*Fast-forward to the discovery of the second woman's body in the woods. Rizzoli wants Maura to leave the body in order to set a trap for Hoyt and Friend. Maura resists.
Then Jane says, "Do this for me."

And of course, Maura gives in.
*Jane relates the story of tackling Agent Dean to Maura. Maura's response:
What she said: ...
What she was thinking: Hmm, what would it be like to have Jane tackle me? Although I'd prefer to be tackled into bed, not into a creek...
*JANE! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, IT'S A TORTOISE!
*"Did you actually tackle him?"

What she said: Yes.
What she meant: Yes, that's why they call me 'Butchy McFabulous.'
What she said: Wow.
What she meant: Wow, that's hot.

What she said: You're very brave.
What she meant: You're very sexy.
*This is how Jane Rizzoli feels about having a man at her door:

"You want me to stay?"
What she said: No. No. I mean, I don't mean 'no.' I mean, no. Like no.
What she meant: No.
*Oh, the flirting over "What's My Ringtone?"


Although I do think Maura's a little disappointed her ringtone isn't something like "I Want to Sex You Up," or since they're lesbians, Melissa Ferrick's "Drive." But that just isn't professional.
(In other news, I did just download my new Rizzoli & Isles ringtone this past week.)
*Rizzoli goes down to Quantico to find out what Dean and Maura are talking about (jealous that he's spending so much time with her woman...).
He asks her, "Do you ever relax?"
She answers, "No, I don't ever relax."
Hmm, I remember something a little different in "I Kissed a Girl"... See, that's the difference between when a woman is trying to impress someone (Maura) and when a woman really doesn't care what the other person thinks (Dean).
Agent Dean asks Rizzoli out to dinner. First, she doesn't say yes. Second, she ditches him. Some guys just can't take a hint!
*"Jane, I'm in your apartment."
What she said: Why?
What she meant: Why? Are you getting things started without me?
Okay, there's no corpse there... Why did they call Maura? Exactly.
*Angie Harmon is now so hot, she's literally smoking.

*Agent Dean, stop asking Rizzoli out! She's just not that into you, buddy. She's too tired and traumatized for dinner with you. But, of course, she's not too tired or traumatized for drinks with Maura.
*Rizzoli finally goes back home.

My friend said that Rizzoli just need to call the Merry Maids or something.
Jane got something better than that...

The only thing better than that would be Maura in a maid's uniform.
*Maura helping Jane stand up:

*What she said: Where do you want me to start?

What her eyes said: Let's start in the bedroom.
*Jane wants to get Maura drunk instead. Um, Jane... Listen honey, you don't need to get drunk. She seems pretty ready and willing to the eyes of, what, millions of others?
"We've always said that we need to do something outside of a crime scene..." Oh, you two definitely remedied that this season.
*
What she said: Let me get you some work clothes.
What she meant: I want to take off your clothes.
"These are my work clothes."

What she said: Dressed like that?
What she meant: I want to take off your clothes.
"These are my going out clothes."

Stop trying to undress each other! Okay, you know I don't mean that...


I hope you enjoyed!