Thursday, December 2, 2010

Nothing Like the Smell of Hand Sanitizer in the Morning...

I don’t know if it’s the writers or Sasha or both, but they always have Maura doing something with her hands. (P.S. I have some other suggestions for what those hands could be doing on-screen…)

One of the things that sometimes occupies Maura’s hands is hand sanitizer.
So, @Drumchik84 is a hilarious individual and this conversation happened on Twitter:
@TheRainbowUhaul, who is also amazing, told me how Seasons 9 & 10 of Law & Order are being released on DVD. I said that I might need to rent them to screencap some Angie.
Drumchik84: Angie Harmon as Abbie Carmichael is fierce –plus- skirts. That is all.
MormonLesbian: ‘Skirts’ may or may have not made me think, “Easy access”…
Drumchik84: Well…that explains why Maura’s always trying to get Jane in a dress…
MormonLesbian: Yeah, Maura did say that miniskirts are “liberating”…
Drumchik84: Which also explains her frequent use of hand sanitizer.
MormonLesbian: Oh… my… You… are hilarious, haha.
Drumchik84: Well it DOES explain it! *giggle*
After that, every time I mentioned writing a post, Drumchik84 asked if it was about Maura and hand sanitizer. So, I can finally say yes to that question!

Personally, I believe that Maura uses hand sanitizer before and after any… afternoon delight at work. Both for, well, obvious reasons…

I Kissed a Girl
So, in this scene, Maura is preparing for a little lovin' at work by using the hand sanitizer (conveniently located on Jane's desk for occasions like this...)
Meanwhile, Jane has been trying to figure out how to ditch her clingy beard, Jorge.
Jane: Maybe if I get fat, he’ll stop calling.
Maura: I just think if you allow him to see all sides of you, then he’ll stop calling.
Jane's Face: Excuse me?!
Maura realizing what she just said...
(Note the wet fingers... *cough*)

Even Jett Jackson knows that Maura shouldn't have said that...
Jane's Face: Excuse me...
Maura: You know what, I just heard what that sounded like and that is… What I meant to say was that… Human beings have good and bad traits, you know. And you have, you know, some characteristics that are a little… not as… um…
(Note the wet hand...)

Maura: Wow, fudge clusters!
And Jane snatches the candy out of Maura’s hands.
Possible symbolism for other "yummy" treats that Maura won't be getting her hands on anymore?

Or... maybe not?

I'm Your Boogie Man
In this scene, Maura just spent the night at Jane's, but those ladies... insatiable. So, Maura's doing a little post-lovin' sanitizing. Because, you know, Maura is very wary and "doesn't cross-contaminate."

Also, Dean shows up again
(Please excuse me as I roll my eyes...)

And this happens:
Maura's Face: Yes, I did just tap that.
(Seriously, rewatch this scene... It isn't just a lucky screencap... She stares at it. 'Cause it's a good ass!) (P.S. Note Jane's face... very grumpy to be interrupted by Dean)

Dean talks to Jane, but he is fully aware that her girlfriend is only a few feet away...
...marking her territory and reminding him that she does, and just did, get with that.
So, there really is no point in him trying.

Yep, sanitizing away...
Dean and Jane run off to get some coffee...
Of course Maura doesn't care if Dean takes her girlfriend out for coffee. She just gave her something that's better than coffee... and by "better than coffee," I mean 'tuna.' (Oh, you Rizzles girls know what I'm talkin' 'bout...)

Jane's Face: I thought you wanted some post-lovin' cuddling and soft kissing in the morgue.
Seriously, Drumchik84, thank you so much, hon, for the brilliant idea! (You should all follow her Twitter because she's awesome like that!)

9 comments:

Doom Kitteh said...

That is my most ridiculously favorite scene in 'I kissed a Girl' I don't know why but I LOVE the way Maura scrambles to fix what she said lol.

Anonymous said...

hahahaha awesome post. I can't believe I missed the ass staring scene O_o I must have been distracted looking at AH LOL

MormonLesbian said...

More than understandable!

jillybean032 said...

first of all, you are a genius and hilarious for coming up with a post like this! XD I had never noticed this before! The sanitizer or the staring! And I love your Rizzles love, thanks for sharing it :)

Becca said...

All I have to say is :D

nicole said...

haha :) i love how you describe each scene and what their expressions mean
"reminding him that she does, and just did, get with that." <hilarious!! now i want to watch this episode again lol
i'll definitely be watching out for more hand sanitizer in season 2...

Anne said...

I love Maura and her hand sanitizer. LOL. And the staring at Jane's ass cap is GOLD.

MrsIpstenu said...

I never realized that there were so many non-me people who obsess about watching hands. Thanks for making me feel normal. ;)

MormonLesbian said...

Hands are sexy. Well... some hands are. Some people should always wear gloves...