Thank you season 2 premiere for showing us that no matter how many dudes you throw at these ladies, you can't kill the subtext...
*This is not the phallus-shaped object we want to see on the show:
Maura: You're making everyone late.
Jane: Even you'd look bad if a bullet'd gone through you.
Hey now. There ain't nothing wrong with a little jaundice coloring... Don't be racist.
Jane: You may not casually discuss my privates.
Jane: Mind. Business.
Maura: When was your last bowel movement?
Maura: Put this on!
C'mon, Jane. Indulge the girl. She likes to roleplay a little...
Maura: We can do this the easy way or the hard way.
Maura: The hard way.
*Yeah, I like her post-baby boobs too...
*Okay, really, what the hell is this? Maura Isles would never do this. Seriously? Tacky. Yeah, blah, blah, the enzymes in saliva break down the... No, this is unacceptable.
*Oh no, is Jane off to flirt with Casey?
Oh no, is Jane actually flirting with Casey this time?
Jane: We are feeling fine, but we can't speak for everyone.
Jane: All the single guys in Boston and you gotta date Ucky Sluckey. It's unethical, Maura.
Jane: I nearly lost my virginity to him.
Maura: Byron is much better when he's not talking.
What Maura Says in a Nutshell: He's a very tender lover. (If you get that reference, you watch too much TV and you're awesome)
Jane: Please, go have tender sex with Byron, and I'm going home.
Maura: Not so fast.
What she meant: Let me ditch Byron and I'll be at your place in fifteen.
*If you're actually paying attention to the plot, Abby gets blown up...
Maura: I got this.
Me: Yeah, ya do.
*Jane can't get into the building because of the new security.
Jane: There's my badge.
(She really should've pulled a Lexie Grey and sprinted past him...)
Maura: What are you doing here?
Jane: I'm trying to figure out who killed Abby Sherman.
a. Most awkward thing I've ever seen
Jane: This is who I am. This is what I do. Now get me in there. (That's what she said...)
Maura: Detective Rizzoli is with me.
Maura: Downstairs only. (Well, if you insist...)
Maura: Rip Van Winkle!
What she said: And wait till you see my office; the decorator just finished.
*Maura: I just wish I knew what was causing that pain.
Jane: Again, I'm going with the .40 caliber bullet.
Jane: What do you do when fear is killing you?
(Ummm, I remember you saying something completely different in "Sympathy for the Devil," honey.)
Maura: What can I do?
Really, Jane? Shouldn't there be more murder solving and less upstairstime? Who am I kidding... There's always time for boob fondling.
Jane: I can be girly.
Seriously, the only people who don't realize that Jane is butch are Jane and Maura. Just like how they are the only people who don't realize how gay they are...
Casey: You're a soft-shelled crab or something.
Me: What are two things I'd like to eat?
*You should be ashamed, Jane! We do not sleep with boys!
Whoa. So not only is Tommy the baby now, but he’s still in prison?
So, Angela is moving in with Maura...
Jane: Are you a masochist?
Maura: You had sex!
Jane: It's really none of your business (then whose business is it...?), but feel free to chat about it with my mother at your slumber parties.
Maura: Did you have a lot to confess to?
Oh, we all know which sins you aren't sorry for...
Maura adorably and excitedly talking about the badass that is Jane Rizzoli:
What she meant: Are you a giant douchebag?
Answer to both: Indeed.
What she meant: Thank you for reminding me why I don't date men.
Maura: Um, can I just... Any pain?