First off, make sure to watch Sasha on Jimmy Kimmel tonight!
*It's Fleet Week in Boston!
Which only means four things: "Punching out some scumsuckers, and getting drunk, and peeing out the window! Then seducing women! Lots of women!" (Name that TV show #1)
Unfortunately, this girl is about to get raped and killed (in case you forgot that there is supposed to be crime solving happening on this show...)
Jane: Poor boys' need to learn how to hold their alcohol.
Really, all they do is crowd your favorite bar and hit on your girl... Pass.
Or even worse...
Jane: Move along, move along. She's too young for you. Goodbye.
Angela: I really want to thank you for taking me to brunch. I know you have better things to do on a Sunday morning.
The car breaks down and the sailors are more than happy to help out.
Sailor: It's okay, ma'am, we can push.
As much as I think you gotta milk the perks of being two hot ladies together, Maura needs to keep it in her pants.
Someone's lookin' though...
Angela: Doesn't she?
Maura: *nods in agreement*
Grease Monkey approaches Jane and Jane does the appropriate thing...
Obviously Jane disapproves of that and would rather take her chances with Grease Monkey than watch Maura flirt shamelessly with him.
As the team is stranded at the garage, Grease Monkey lends them Julieta.
*Jane: Stay away from Grease Monkey.
Maura: No. ... Oh, this is a 'dibs' thing!
Um, yeah... Jane clearly called dibs on you way before Grease Monkey.
Maura: Well, so are you.
Jane: Yes, but I'm interesting. And you don't want to sleep with me.
Maura: That's all I wanna do with Grease Monkey.
(I'm the first to defend Maura as being more of a sexual being and whatnot, especially in comparison to Jane; however, I refuse to believe she's this indiscriminate.)
*The team checks out the victim's body, which happens to be in the alley outside of the Dirty Robber. (Jane and Korsak shouldn't be pissed with the seamen infiltrating their bar; they should be pissed that the show is cheap and just wants to reuse the sets they have...)
Maura and Korsak mimic the "iconic sailor back from abroad kiss."
*Back at the station...
Grease Monkey pops by with some chocolate and carnations.
Well, she obviously couldn't tell the truth and said 'girlfriend' instead of 'boyfriend'... We can all guess how gossipy his mother is.
But he's actually there to see Maura.
Maura's Face: Who's here?
What he said: How'd you get stuck with all this old stuff?
We do not say that to boys, Maura! Especially not with that pants-dropping smile!
Grease Monkey: You like Italian?
Maura: I love Italians.
Girl does have a type...
Thank you for finally clarifying that you're in a committed relationship and only love one Italian...
Grease Monkey: Let me take you to dinner.
Maura: It would be faster if you come to my house.
*Some sailors send drinks over to Jane and Maura.
Bartender: I'll use the next one to water the plants.
What she said: No, I don't like to be rude.
(Personally, I would never accept a free drink from some dudes with my girlfriend... ...)
Jane: Why'd you say you'd have dinner with GM?
Jane: Well, in that case, play with him all you like.
"Play with him all you like"? A dinner is acceptable, but beyond that... Sounds a little whore-y to me. Or I guess it could mean that "she just has other skills she uses to make her way in the world" and I guess you gotta "use what you've got!" (Name that TV show #2)
*In other news, another girl is raped and is in bad shape in the hospital.
I guess that, yeah, I wouldn't care how badly my brain was bleeding either...
*R&I's very own Damn You AutoCorrect from Angela: Homey, I need a boner.
*Maura: You and Frost are site-specific friends.
Jane: Would we be dating if we didn't work together?
Jane: So, that's a no... (I guess Jane wanted a more romantic answer about how fate would have brought them together or some other crap like that.)
*The second victim dies and Jane is pissed...
*Meanwhile, Grease Monkey is over at Maura's.
Maura offers Grease Monkey some wine.
GM: You got any beer?
Horrifying things happened
Maura: I'm sorry, I feel a little nauseated. (You aren't the only one, hon)
Honey, if you don't throw up on him, then I will.
*And, of course, what does Maura do after the date fail? Not to shower off the creepiness, but she goes to see Jane.
Jane: Did GM notice anything other than your cleavage?
Maura: He says he's waiting on "special parts" for your mother's car.
Jane's plan of showing GM what Maura does for a living is a total flop.
Maura: Is he gone?
Jane: Not really.
(Have we learned our lesson yet this season, Maura? No more dudes!)
Maura: Hard to eradicate.
(Well, to be fair, you did invite this bug into your bed, hon... Or at least really damn close.)
And the couple shares lunch...
Maura: I think that we should just tell him. Don't you, babe?
Maura: I really, truly enjoyed your company, but Jane and I... we're, um, uh...
Jane: Best friends.
Me: And now they kiss?
Maura: Exactly. We're Ell Biffs.
Me: And now they kiss?
GM: Are you two batting for the other team?
GM: I always wanted to try it with two girls.
Maura: Well that's really nice! (Someone's very enthusiastic about that idea...)
Jane: We'll let you know.
So, who was the serial rapist/murderer? I always like to leave some surprise for you in case you haven't seen the episode... ... That or I'm too lazy to screencap the whole episode...
And I'll leave you with my personal favorite screencap: